Scalloped potatoes, sometimes known as potatoes dauphinoise, often known as potatoes au gratin when cheese is added, usually do not contain scallops and nobody knows why.

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RECIPE

Select three medium russet potatoes, or cusset potatoes if you’re immature
Slice them 1/8th inch thick and throw any that don’t measure up against a window
Par boil them for 3 minutes
Par strain them for 20 seconds

MEANWHILE IT’S SAUCE TIME
3 tablespoons Butter: melt it in a sauce pan, which is a good pan for sauce
2 chopped garlic cloves: give them a nice hot butter bath
5 tablespoons all purpose wheat dust (flour) slowly whisk it in until it’s smooth and cook it for a couple to a few minutes
2 cups/500 ml milk: slowly whisk it in until it seems like you never had a golden smooth garlic mixture there previously

NOW IT’S FLAVOR TIME
1 veggie bullion cube: crumble and wangjangle
½ teaspoon salt
2 – 3 teaspoons mustard dust
Some pepper pepper pepper
Continue wangjangling until the sauce thickens, which will happen rather suddenly so keep your wits about you
Then add in a handful of cheddar if you want and take it off the heat

Put the potatoes and every molecule of sauce in a big bowl and fold them over until covered

Spray chemicals into a 9 X 9 baking dish and dump in the stuff

Put a layer of gruyere cheese on top if you want

Add a tin roof

350 for 45 minutes

Remove the tin roof

15 minutes or until browned on top

Let it set for 10 to 20 minutes

Serve on a plate and get scared by a potato lantern and also oddly stimulated when it starts dancing